So, you’ve decided to give pickleball a shot. Maybe your friends wouldn’t stop talking about it, or maybe you walked past a court and thought, “That looks less painful than running a 5K.” Whatever brought you here, welcome to the sport that’s sweeping the nation faster than you can say, “What the heck is a dink?”
If you’re a total newbie, don’t worry. I’m here to break it down for you—rules, tips, and how to avoid embarrassing yourself on day one (though, let’s be real, you probably still will).
What Is Pickleball, Really?
First things first: pickleball is NOT a game involving pickles. Sorry, brine enthusiasts. Instead, it’s a paddle sport played on a small court with a plastic ball that has holes in it. Think of it as tennis’s more laid-back cousin who shows up to family reunions wearing Crocs.
The court is smaller than a tennis court, the paddles are bigger than ping-pong paddles, and the ball? Well, it’s basically a wiffle ball but with fewer childhood tears attached to it.
The Rules (Simplified, Because Who Has Time for Details?)
1. The Serve: You serve underhand because we’re civilized here. None of that overhead, smash-it-into-the-next-county nonsense.
2. The Kitchen: This is a seven-foot area near the net where you can’t volley the ball. Why call it the kitchen? Who knows? Maybe someone thought it sounded fancy.
3. Scoring: Only the serving team can score, and games are usually played to 11 points (win by 2). If you lose track of the score, just nod confidently and hope no one questions you.
4. Double Bounce Rule: The ball has to bounce once on each side after the serve before anyone starts smashing it. This prevents overzealous players from annihilating the ball right out of the gate.
What You’ll Need to Play
Gear Up, Rookie:
• A Paddle: You don’t need the fanciest paddle on day one, but avoid borrowing your friend’s beat-up wooden one from 1993. You deserve better.
• Balls: Look for outdoor or indoor pickleballs depending on where you’re playing. Pro tip: indoor balls are quieter, so your neighbors will complain less.
• Shoes: Court shoes or good sneakers will do the trick. Just don’t show up in flip-flops unless you enjoy sprained ankles.
Your First Game: Expect the Unexpected
When you step onto the court for the first time, a few things are guaranteed:
1. You’ll probably hit the ball out of bounds at least five times. That’s fine—it’s a rite of passage.
2. Someone will yell “Stay out of the kitchen!” at you, and you’ll momentarily wonder if you’re on a cooking show.
3. You’ll forget the score. This is inevitable. Just smile and say, “Oh, I thought it was 7-6!” even if it’s clearly 3-1.
Tips for Not Looking Like a Total Rookie
1. Start with a Dink Game: A “dink” is a soft shot that lands just over the net in the kitchen. It’s less intimidating and a good way to warm up. Plus, saying “dink” repeatedly will make you sound like you know what you’re doing.
2. Don’t Chase the Ball: If someone lobs the ball way out of bounds, let it go. You’re not a Labrador retriever.
3. Communicate in Doubles: If you’re playing doubles, don’t leave your partner guessing. Call out who’s taking the ball. (Yelling “YOURS!” and then doing nothing is a classic rookie move—don’t be that person.)
4. Watch the Kitchen: The kitchen rule is sacred. Step into it when you’re not supposed to, and you’ll hear about it. Forever.
The Social Side of Pickleball
One of the best parts of pickleball is the people. The community is full of friendly (and hilariously competitive) players who are ready to welcome you, coach you, and occasionally smash a ball at your face. Don’t take it personally—it’s all part of the fun.
You’ll meet players of all ages, from retirees who’ve mastered the art of the dink to teenagers who can hit a crosscourt winner faster than you can blink. Everyone’s there for a good time, so relax and enjoy the game.
A Few Words of Encouragement
Yes, you’re going to miss shots. Yes, you’ll accidentally volley in the kitchen. And yes, someone will probably call you a “banger” (pickleball slang for someone who just smashes the ball without finesse). But that’s all part of the journey.
Pickleball is about having fun, getting a workout, and occasionally shouting “Nice shot!” even when your opponent just destroyed you. So grab your paddle, find a court, and embrace the chaos.
Final Thoughts:
Congratulations—you’re officially a pickleballer! Or is it pickleballist? Whatever. You’re part of the club now. Just remember to stay out of the kitchen, call your scores loudly, and don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself when you inevitably hit the ball into the next zip code.
Now get out there and dink like a champ!